I am just all over the place today. I can't seem to get a grip on anything. I usually look forward to Fridays, but with Allen working tomorrow, this is really just a Thursday for us. I was happy to drop Jaxon off at school this morning. He was so happy to go and excited to take his spelling test. For the 1st time ever he had trouble with a spelling word. He couldn't remember to put the extra "n" in the word planned. He was thrilled last night when he got it! So he slammed the car door and smiled his big smile and waved. Usually he doesn't even look back at me blowing kisses, but today he blew one right back! It was just a great perk this morning. I am thankful that I get to be here for each of those little morning moments.
I sometimes get down about not bringing in any kind of income and not having a career like everyone else or having the money to buy whatever I need/want, but honestly they don't know what they are missing. I cherish getting to be here for EVERY moment! I have watched all my babies take their first steps, eat their first bites of food, I'm here for those late sick nights, being able to help with homework, etc. It's amazing. I pray that they remember these moments because I will never forget them. I think back on my childhood and honestly I can't remember one good time or anything my parents did to help me with something. Now, I'm sure they did when I was younger, they had to have right?! But nothing that was substantial enough to remember, I suppose.
Jaxon and I were looking through some photo albums yesterday and I found the book of Noah's birth. I just laughed so hard. He was just a perfect baby. Jaxon and Asher were so tiny and I really don't know how I survived having 3 babies all under the age of 4. What kind of insanity was going through my brain at the time?! Wow! Those were some tough times. Funny though, I still remember all the fun times, those moments that will forever be embedded in my heart. I remember Jaxon and Asher meeting Noah for the 1st time. They just starred at him with such big eyes. It was like they had always known him. The bond those boys have is just overwhelming to me. It makes all those long insane days by myself with them worth it. I survived those years without babysitters, help from a mother, preschools, or anything else. I did it!! Wow it's amazing even to me to look back at those pictures. By the grace of God! seriously!!
Noah seems to be doing ok today. His arm is pretty bruised, but he thinks it is awesome! He is so happy with his "boo boo." I will never fully understand the mind of a boy. LOL They are just too intense for me. lol I on the other hand am still going out of my mind. I think I check my phone more now than I did when I used to wait for Allen to call me, when we were dating. LoL I loved waiting on those phone calls, and honestly, I'm excited to get this call too. I told Grandma last night that I really didn't care what they had to say, I just wanted answers. Good or bad, I'm ready. . . I think. I just hate the waiting!! I can't stand it. Everyone else thinks that it will be fine and it's nothing, but it's not their baby boy. He's my baby and regardless I can't help but be very concerned. It is a huge deal to me. And for the 1st time ever, I hope they are all right. I hope it isn't anything to be concerned about. I'm praying it is nothing and I am just worrying for nothing!! That's my prayer!!
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