Well this weekend has been strange. Allen had to work all day yesterday and had planned on getting off and being home by 5:00. I let the kids play outside most of yesterday while Lyla and I stayed in the kitchen to make cookies and goodies. We had a blast. She looks too precious in her little apron. We had invited Chris, Amber, & Jillian over for some pizza and Guitar Hero/Rock Band and planned on having a low-key evening. Well Allen ended up not getting off work until 5 and not home until 6ish. It was insane. Evelyn had called me that afternoon and asked if they could stop by last night. So it was a pleasant surprise to have almost everyone here, but also a total pit of disaster. The kids didn't get a good nap and were so hyper and over the top with the idea of having so many people here.
It was nice to have something else to keep my mind off of the waiting...which by the way is consuming me completely today. I feel like I need to throw up and am eating uncontrollably. It was hilarious to watch everyone play Rock Band and even my mother-in-law got some signing in. I feel like my head just spins around in circles when we have large group get togethers. The kids are all so loud and over-the-top. They have so much fun though. I am happy they have these memories. Noah was the star of the show with his "boo boo." He loved showing everyone. He was excited to have a band-aid from Grandma put on. He thought he was hot stuff.
Today has been very lazy and honestly, it is killing me. I keep envisioning getting the phone call. I feel on the verge of tears at every turn. It is such a burden of mine right now. I had a horrible dream last night about it and woke up this morning in tears. I try to carry on a conversation and all I think about is Noah. I can't even play with the kids sometimes. It's like I'm numb to it all. It's such a sad place to be. So I am hoping that they call tomorrow. It would be great to get the news when Allen is home. Good or bad, I don't want to get it by myself. But we'll have to wait and see.
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