Today has been so wonderful. Finally, we ALL got to play in the snow. It was such a blast. Lyla just loved walking in the snow. She laughed the entire time, well except for when she fell face first into a huge pile of snow. She didn't think that was very funny. I wish I would have gotten some pictures, but once again my camera was not working. After 5 years with this camera, I think it has finally given in and quit on me. Allen said we could get a new one for my birthday/Valentine's Day. Woo hoo!! Now I just have to do some research and find the best deal. Oh the fun begins!
After we played in the snow and got everyone cleaned up, we decided to see if we could get out of our driveway. We went into town and took recycling, trash, the post office, and Walmart. The kids were so disappointed that I went to make them pancakes this morning and we were out of eggs. Bummer!! We picked up eggs, milk, and bread. After we finished there, Grandma called and said they were home so we could stop by for a visit. (Allen had called her earlier and left a message.)
We had such a great visit with her and Pa. The kids were so well-behaved and Lyla just played and played with Grammie. It was such a sweet time. I love the time we all spend together. Grandma Green has really taken me in and I honestly consider her a mother figure. What a kind woman. (tough as nails, but so loving once you get to know her!) Tonight was very emotional for me. Grandma said something that just about brought me to tears. It was something so unexpected. She was sitting in her rocking chair and was showing me a huge bruise she had on her arm. I asked her how it happened and she looked sideways over at me (I was sitting on the floor at her right hand side.) and said, "I have no idea!" Her body language and her words were something I had heard my Grandma Peggy say a hundred times. **to back up a bit** When I was growing up I would always sit on the floor on the right-handed side of my Grandma's recliner in her livingroom. She would always play with my hair while I laid my head in her lap. She would also read me the paper, or we would watch the news together. It was time for just her and I and I loved it. Anytime something went wrong in my life, I would run to Grandma and she would be my comfort. She would let me sit next to her and no words would be spoken, but I knew everything would be okay! She was an amazing woman. Oh how I miss her and her comfort. Although she is still living, she has Alzheimer's and my mother has forbidden me to see her. So to keep things calm and peaceful, I see her about once a year. The last time I went, she had no clue who I was, but still had that sweet smile on her face. She gave me such a sense of peace and was talking so gentle. She is such a sweet spirit!
My Grandma Peggy had very fragile skin and was always bruising. She would be pulling her seat into the kitchen table at dinner and hit her arm. Halfway through dinner her arm was already black and blue. So when Grandma Green said those words it was, in my mind, my Memaw saying them. I had to take a double take and snap back to the conversation. I was a bit speechless. Isn't it amazing how God gives us little things like that to help us get through. I have had such a sad and heavy heart about my Grandma Peggy (or Memaw) since her birthday last month. I would love to see her again and just hold her hand. Her skin was always so soft and comforting. Oh I cherish those times with her.
Well I got off on a little memory there, didn't I?! Kids are all snoozing and there is no school tomorrow so I need to get some things ready.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Snowy daze. . .
Well again this morning, Jaxon woke up vomiting. He has had such a hard time with this sickness. Since about 10am, he has felt better and if there are no more trips to the bathroom, he will be playing out in the snow tomorrow. He is very excited about that. I am praying that he wakes up and is ok in the morning.
Allen took the younger boys out in the snow today. They had a blast. Jaxon, Lyla, and I just watched from the window. It was more exciting to watch them fall all the time than to be outside in the freezing cold. (well at least Jaxon and I thought so.) We laughed so hard at them. It was great to spend some quiet time with Jaxon after I laid Lyla down for a nap. He is growing up so fast. Next week, Asher and Noah are going to go to Grandma and Papa's house for the week. (Allen's mom and stepdad's) It will be Noah's 1st time to go and spend time without Allen and I. That is why Evelyn asked if Asher could come. I think he will make Noah feel more comfortable and serve as a translator for him too. (he's still just 2 and it's hard to understand everything he says.)
The boys are very excited and I am excited for them. I am not a bit nervous about them going (which is unusual for me). I look forward to having one-on-one time with both Lyla, during the day, and Jaxon, after school. I think it is what everyone needs around here. A little change of scenery will really help the younger boys. Winter time is so hard for boys. They need to run and be boys! We have been stuck in the house for months now. So we are all counting down the days.
Well all my guys are in the livingroom watching Spiderman 2. I escaped for a bit to come write. I'm not feeling very open and chatty today. Maybe because I haven't had a single moment to myself to think. It has been a long day and we have a few more to go. I seriously doubt we have school on Monday so I'm sure we will all be here together. I love it . . .I really do. But it is also healthy to have a break from time to time. LOL Good night and hopefully something more meaningful tomorrow. Seem like I keep saying that lately! hmm??
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Allen took the younger boys out in the snow today. They had a blast. Jaxon, Lyla, and I just watched from the window. It was more exciting to watch them fall all the time than to be outside in the freezing cold. (well at least Jaxon and I thought so.) We laughed so hard at them. It was great to spend some quiet time with Jaxon after I laid Lyla down for a nap. He is growing up so fast. Next week, Asher and Noah are going to go to Grandma and Papa's house for the week. (Allen's mom and stepdad's) It will be Noah's 1st time to go and spend time without Allen and I. That is why Evelyn asked if Asher could come. I think he will make Noah feel more comfortable and serve as a translator for him too. (he's still just 2 and it's hard to understand everything he says.)
The boys are very excited and I am excited for them. I am not a bit nervous about them going (which is unusual for me). I look forward to having one-on-one time with both Lyla, during the day, and Jaxon, after school. I think it is what everyone needs around here. A little change of scenery will really help the younger boys. Winter time is so hard for boys. They need to run and be boys! We have been stuck in the house for months now. So we are all counting down the days.
Well all my guys are in the livingroom watching Spiderman 2. I escaped for a bit to come write. I'm not feeling very open and chatty today. Maybe because I haven't had a single moment to myself to think. It has been a long day and we have a few more to go. I seriously doubt we have school on Monday so I'm sure we will all be here together. I love it . . .I really do. But it is also healthy to have a break from time to time. LOL Good night and hopefully something more meaningful tomorrow. Seem like I keep saying that lately! hmm??
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Friday, January 29, 2010
♫ Oh what a night ♫. . .
Just when I thought we were over all this sickness, it decided to start all over again. What a terrible night this has been. I'm not going to write much because I am just so cold sitting back here by the back door. I wish our laptop battery charger hadn't broke. I could be sitting in my nice warm bed and typing, but instead my hands are about to freeze off. So I will make light of this horrible evening and just leave out a lot of details.
Jaxon decides to vomit again. He made it to our bathroom, but could not get the toilet lid up fast enough. So, I had to throw away somethings. It was right before dinner as usual. I a bummed that he was so close to making it and still I had to miss dinner to get it all sanitized and cleaned. We made everyone's favorite, Breakfast!! Asher has been so excited all week for Friday night's breakfast dinner. He too had bathroom issues and couldn't eat. We even bought them orange juice to drink tonight (we hardly buy it because it has a tendancy to give the little ones such diaper rashes). So that was stage one of trouble.
As we are eating, Lyla just starts SCREAMING! I thought she had bit her tough or something, but we just concluded that she was super exhausted and ready for bed. She is fighting her afternoon nap and with one nap in the morning, she is a very feisty girl come dinner time. Finally, I get Jaxon set up in the living room with his "puke bucket," blankets, towels, etc. and Lyla starts screaming again. Allen decided to just get her out and give her a bath. As he is undressing her and taking her diaper off he realized. . .she had pooped. Oh my goodness, it had been on her for over 35 minutes in her seat at dinner. I just cried. She was screaming at the top of her lungs in pain. I was going out of my mind. I had to get her clean, but she was blistered and didn't want a bath.
*Sidenote* Last night Allen had laid her down and not thought to check her diaper because I had changed it about an hour before and she had pooped then too. He went in to check on her and could smell something. He smelled closer to her, as she slept, and then looked to find a horrible surprise. We had to wake her up and change her. She had blisters from last night and tonight. It is a sickness kind of poopy, so there is no smell. We had no clue. Allen could have died, he felt so bad. I got her doctored up tonight and she seemed better.
Now, I have Jaxon sick again, Asher missed his favorite dinner, and Lyla has a horrible diaper rash. I am waiting for Noah to wake up vomiting tonight. That would top the cake. We are snowed in for the weekend and I forgot to get more diaper rash cream, foil, and eggs. Wow this is going to be a long weekend. Hopefully, the kids (some of them) will get to go play outside tomorrow. I hope to post pics of our beautiful snow. Again, so much for keeping this short. . .
Jaxon decides to vomit again. He made it to our bathroom, but could not get the toilet lid up fast enough. So, I had to throw away somethings. It was right before dinner as usual. I a bummed that he was so close to making it and still I had to miss dinner to get it all sanitized and cleaned. We made everyone's favorite, Breakfast!! Asher has been so excited all week for Friday night's breakfast dinner. He too had bathroom issues and couldn't eat. We even bought them orange juice to drink tonight (we hardly buy it because it has a tendancy to give the little ones such diaper rashes). So that was stage one of trouble.
As we are eating, Lyla just starts SCREAMING! I thought she had bit her tough or something, but we just concluded that she was super exhausted and ready for bed. She is fighting her afternoon nap and with one nap in the morning, she is a very feisty girl come dinner time. Finally, I get Jaxon set up in the living room with his "puke bucket," blankets, towels, etc. and Lyla starts screaming again. Allen decided to just get her out and give her a bath. As he is undressing her and taking her diaper off he realized. . .she had pooped. Oh my goodness, it had been on her for over 35 minutes in her seat at dinner. I just cried. She was screaming at the top of her lungs in pain. I was going out of my mind. I had to get her clean, but she was blistered and didn't want a bath.
*Sidenote* Last night Allen had laid her down and not thought to check her diaper because I had changed it about an hour before and she had pooped then too. He went in to check on her and could smell something. He smelled closer to her, as she slept, and then looked to find a horrible surprise. We had to wake her up and change her. She had blisters from last night and tonight. It is a sickness kind of poopy, so there is no smell. We had no clue. Allen could have died, he felt so bad. I got her doctored up tonight and she seemed better.
Now, I have Jaxon sick again, Asher missed his favorite dinner, and Lyla has a horrible diaper rash. I am waiting for Noah to wake up vomiting tonight. That would top the cake. We are snowed in for the weekend and I forgot to get more diaper rash cream, foil, and eggs. Wow this is going to be a long weekend. Hopefully, the kids (some of them) will get to go play outside tomorrow. I hope to post pics of our beautiful snow. Again, so much for keeping this short. . .
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Go away nasty stomach bug. . .
Well this morning started out normally. About half way through breakfast, Jaxon was telling me that his jeans were hurting his stomach. I told him to take them off and I'd get him another pair. If you know my Jaxon, you know that he is all bones. Nothing but bones! So I knew there must be more than just his jeans bothering him. I let it go and got him a new pair and moved on to getting the little ones ready to get in the car. After I went outside and started the car, I came back in and Jaxon is in the bathroom. I assumed he was brushing his teeth as usual, but boy was I wrong. As I got closer to the door, it was obvious that we weren't going to school today. So I ran back out and turned off the car and then helped Jaxon put his jammies back on and put him back to bed to rest. He went right in and laid down, so I knew he wasn't feeling well. Jaxon never wants to lay still for anything. He is so active.
He had a few more episodes this morning but by lunch he was feeling so much better. He had such a better color to him and was fighting with his brothers over which movie to watch, so I KNEW he was feeling ok! I still kept it pretty low-key today. There wasn't much going on, until I got an email from a classmate. We have a date for our 10 year reunion: June 18th. YIKES! Can it be?? Wow this is getting intense. I already have the Facebook page created and things seem to be moving along smoothly. It is just so much work. Makes me tired just thinking about it. I hope I can keep up without letting my obligations at home and with my family feel a strain.
Anyways, school is cancelled for tomorrow. We are expected to get a few inches of snow in the morning. I hope it is enough to make Allen stay home from work. It is always nice to have him home. Especially since he has to work at the soccer fields on Saturday from 9-2. On the other hand, I hope it doesn't snow because Troy and Natalie are supposed to be coming this weekend. We haven't seen them in so long and their Christmas gifts are still sitting in my closet. So I'm praying that we are able to visit with them. Well the kids are finally all in bed. Lyla has had a very hard day and screamed herself to sleep tonight. So I presume that she will be up very early. Off to bed I go. . .
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He had a few more episodes this morning but by lunch he was feeling so much better. He had such a better color to him and was fighting with his brothers over which movie to watch, so I KNEW he was feeling ok! I still kept it pretty low-key today. There wasn't much going on, until I got an email from a classmate. We have a date for our 10 year reunion: June 18th. YIKES! Can it be?? Wow this is getting intense. I already have the Facebook page created and things seem to be moving along smoothly. It is just so much work. Makes me tired just thinking about it. I hope I can keep up without letting my obligations at home and with my family feel a strain.
Anyways, school is cancelled for tomorrow. We are expected to get a few inches of snow in the morning. I hope it is enough to make Allen stay home from work. It is always nice to have him home. Especially since he has to work at the soccer fields on Saturday from 9-2. On the other hand, I hope it doesn't snow because Troy and Natalie are supposed to be coming this weekend. We haven't seen them in so long and their Christmas gifts are still sitting in my closet. So I'm praying that we are able to visit with them. Well the kids are finally all in bed. Lyla has had a very hard day and screamed herself to sleep tonight. So I presume that she will be up very early. Off to bed I go. . .
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010
What a hard day. . .
This has been a very trying day for us all. It is always hard when Mom is sick. Nothing seems to flow like it should. Thankfully, Allen took off today to help me out. I wouldn't have made it without him. Asher and I were up all night getting sick and I only had about an hour of sleep. Lyla decided to wake up at 5:30 am (something she hasn't done in a very long time). So Allen took care of the kids and got everyone breakfast and Jaxon ready for school. Asher and I moved into our bedroom (we had been in the living room all night) and hid in there until everyone left. I ended up falling asleep as Asher watched cartoons. When I woke up, Asher was feeling so much better and I was feeling so much worse. I now had a migraine and felt so terrible.
Allen took care of everything around the house today. It was so nice to have the laundry and dishes done when I finally got out of bed. Jaxon got out of school an hour early today, which worked out perfectly. The kids all got naps and Allen was here to pick up Jaxon so there was no need for me to have to wake them. That in itself is such a blessing! So, I am hoping everyone is on the rebound with this stomach bug. Allen is excited to get back to work tomorrow. He loves his job and I am so thankful. This is the first place he has worked that he has great friends and such a calm work environment. I am excited to have my house back and praying that no one else gets sick.
So, not much substance to tonight's post, but I still am not feeling 100%. I am going to head back to the couch and snuggle up with Allen. He has eaten so much fresh pineapple that he is certain that he won't catch whatever it is we had. I pray he doesn't!!!
Allen took care of everything around the house today. It was so nice to have the laundry and dishes done when I finally got out of bed. Jaxon got out of school an hour early today, which worked out perfectly. The kids all got naps and Allen was here to pick up Jaxon so there was no need for me to have to wake them. That in itself is such a blessing! So, I am hoping everyone is on the rebound with this stomach bug. Allen is excited to get back to work tomorrow. He loves his job and I am so thankful. This is the first place he has worked that he has great friends and such a calm work environment. I am excited to have my house back and praying that no one else gets sick.
So, not much substance to tonight's post, but I still am not feeling 100%. I am going to head back to the couch and snuggle up with Allen. He has eaten so much fresh pineapple that he is certain that he won't catch whatever it is we had. I pray he doesn't!!!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
And so it begins. . .
Well, it has happened. The stomach bug has finally hit our house and this is after almost a year without a single person being sick. I feel terrible typing this right now, but I made a commitment and I'm not going to quit when I hit a bump. With that being said, I make no promises that any of this will make a bit of sense! LOL
Well our day was as normal as normal gets and I was really starting to enjoy the calmness. After we picked Jaxon up from school and got everyone home it was time for the younger 3 to take naps. So Jaxon sat at the table and did his homework, I looked through his papers and the other kids were off in dreamland. I get a phone call around 4:15pm and it was Allen saying he was on his way home. This is a typical call from him and we just chatted for a bit and then I went to let Jaxon play Xbox for 30 mins. I sat down on the couch for my "me time" before dinner gets started and I hear something in the distance. I thought it was my phone so I walked into the kitchen and saw that I had missed a call. It was Jeanna so I called her back and sat down at the computer to email her some new pictures.
About 5 mins into the call, I heard a noise that I would rather never hear. It was Asher and I knew I had such a mess to clean up. I'll spare you the details of that drama, but I was thankful that Allen was almost home. Lyla was now awake and screaming. I had to get her and help Asher to the bathroom without stepping in nasty. It was not such a fun thing, but we made it work. Thankfully, Allen made it home just minutes after all the drama and he took Lyla so I could clean everything up. (LUCKY ME!!!) LOL What a nice guy, right??
Allen has never been one to step up and handle things, when the kids are sick. He is always so mean and wants to stay FAR away from it all. I turn on my "super mom/survival button" and get in there and take care of business. I'm good with doing that. It usually works in our house. But about half way through it all, I start to feel very sick. I have yet to have an issue, but man I am a hot mess now.
My poor Asher sat in the bathroom for 2 hours straight. I have never seen him this sick. I just want to hold him and love on him, but he won't let me. He tells me, "Mama, you can't be sick too. Don't hug me tonight." He is just perfect! I think he is going to make his wife so happy one day! LOL Allen and Lyla ran to the store for us and got supplies. We have chicken noodle soup, 7-up, Gatorade, Pineapple (the most important thing!!), and tons of fresh fruit for the other kids. What a blessing to have the extra money this month, to get these things that weren't on our grocery list. I am so grateful that God knows just when to give us a new obstacle. HE never gives us more than we can handle! WOW, that is incredible, isn't it!??!!!
Off I go to relieve Dad of his watch. He let me slide in here to blog really quick. He gets so nervous when the babies are sick. It's almost a bit funny to see him fumble around. LOL Hopefully better news tomorrow. I have a feeling it is going to be a very long night. . .
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Well our day was as normal as normal gets and I was really starting to enjoy the calmness. After we picked Jaxon up from school and got everyone home it was time for the younger 3 to take naps. So Jaxon sat at the table and did his homework, I looked through his papers and the other kids were off in dreamland. I get a phone call around 4:15pm and it was Allen saying he was on his way home. This is a typical call from him and we just chatted for a bit and then I went to let Jaxon play Xbox for 30 mins. I sat down on the couch for my "me time" before dinner gets started and I hear something in the distance. I thought it was my phone so I walked into the kitchen and saw that I had missed a call. It was Jeanna so I called her back and sat down at the computer to email her some new pictures.
About 5 mins into the call, I heard a noise that I would rather never hear. It was Asher and I knew I had such a mess to clean up. I'll spare you the details of that drama, but I was thankful that Allen was almost home. Lyla was now awake and screaming. I had to get her and help Asher to the bathroom without stepping in nasty. It was not such a fun thing, but we made it work. Thankfully, Allen made it home just minutes after all the drama and he took Lyla so I could clean everything up. (LUCKY ME!!!) LOL What a nice guy, right??
Allen has never been one to step up and handle things, when the kids are sick. He is always so mean and wants to stay FAR away from it all. I turn on my "super mom/survival button" and get in there and take care of business. I'm good with doing that. It usually works in our house. But about half way through it all, I start to feel very sick. I have yet to have an issue, but man I am a hot mess now.
My poor Asher sat in the bathroom for 2 hours straight. I have never seen him this sick. I just want to hold him and love on him, but he won't let me. He tells me, "Mama, you can't be sick too. Don't hug me tonight." He is just perfect! I think he is going to make his wife so happy one day! LOL Allen and Lyla ran to the store for us and got supplies. We have chicken noodle soup, 7-up, Gatorade, Pineapple (the most important thing!!), and tons of fresh fruit for the other kids. What a blessing to have the extra money this month, to get these things that weren't on our grocery list. I am so grateful that God knows just when to give us a new obstacle. HE never gives us more than we can handle! WOW, that is incredible, isn't it!??!!!
Off I go to relieve Dad of his watch. He let me slide in here to blog really quick. He gets so nervous when the babies are sick. It's almost a bit funny to see him fumble around. LOL Hopefully better news tomorrow. I have a feeling it is going to be a very long night. . .
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Monday, January 25, 2010
I love these winter nights. . .
It was so hilarious and kind of sad tonight after dinner. I went to make the kids favorite Amish Sugar cookies and realized I was out of oil. If you know anything about Amish baking, you know you HAVE to have plenty of sugar and oil on hand. They don't mess around when it comes to those ingredients. lol Asher was so excited to help me bake them (it was finally his turn to help). But he took the disappointment pretty well. He just stood in the chair at the bar and said, "well Mama, it's ok. . .you can just make something else." The body language he used was just too much for me and I just busted out laughing. It was so precious! Allen and I just looked at each other and laughed. Asher is such a character. He is so full of life and puts an emphasis on everything. I love his personality!
Also tonight, he was sitting at the dinner table waiting on everyone to gather around and he just out of the blue said, "A lot of people died. . . lots of people on Avatar. Lots and lots of the blue people, Mama." He said it so calmly and so randomly. I just cracked up. Allen was in the bathroom helping Noah, so he missed it. It reminded me of the "tv's fake story" my in-laws tell about Troy (Allen's youngest brother). It was just so random. Noah has started doing that too. He will just blurt things out at random moments. Amber (our sister-in-law) and I were talking one day and Noah just comes up and blurts out. . ."I two!!" Then later that same evening, he gets in Amber's face and said, "I went pee two times!" Amber and I just looked at each other and laughed. She was a bit embarrassed, but I just shook my head and just laughed. These boys are so silly. I love their little sayings and thoughts. The mind of a child is so unfiltered and honest. I wish I could be more like that at times. They are just straight forward and so open about how they feel. What a wonderful notion!
Well, today was a typical Monday. Nothing too exciting to report. I had all my house work done before noon, so the rest of the day we just enjoyed each other and watched cartoons and played playdoh. I forgot how much I love days like this. No hustle and craziness. Just good quality time. Allen was suppose to go to a soccer board meeting tonight, but he decided to stay with us instead. I love that winter days keep us all in the house together. They make me love and appreciate staying at home. It was a good day!
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Also tonight, he was sitting at the dinner table waiting on everyone to gather around and he just out of the blue said, "A lot of people died. . . lots of people on Avatar. Lots and lots of the blue people, Mama." He said it so calmly and so randomly. I just cracked up. Allen was in the bathroom helping Noah, so he missed it. It reminded me of the "tv's fake story" my in-laws tell about Troy (Allen's youngest brother). It was just so random. Noah has started doing that too. He will just blurt things out at random moments. Amber (our sister-in-law) and I were talking one day and Noah just comes up and blurts out. . ."I two!!" Then later that same evening, he gets in Amber's face and said, "I went pee two times!" Amber and I just looked at each other and laughed. She was a bit embarrassed, but I just shook my head and just laughed. These boys are so silly. I love their little sayings and thoughts. The mind of a child is so unfiltered and honest. I wish I could be more like that at times. They are just straight forward and so open about how they feel. What a wonderful notion!
Well, today was a typical Monday. Nothing too exciting to report. I had all my house work done before noon, so the rest of the day we just enjoyed each other and watched cartoons and played playdoh. I forgot how much I love days like this. No hustle and craziness. Just good quality time. Allen was suppose to go to a soccer board meeting tonight, but he decided to stay with us instead. I love that winter days keep us all in the house together. They make me love and appreciate staying at home. It was a good day!
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Sunday, January 24, 2010
and I thought I had nothing to write today. . . LOL
It was a very relaxing Sunday in the Green Household. I'm amazed at how calm everything went. The kids were up before 7 am and playing in their rooms. It was hilarious to lay back and listen to them talking with each other and plotting who will go in and wake up mom and dad. I love my baby monitor! The conversations they have with each other are just priceless. They are so serious and have such passion in every sentence. At times like these, I am so thankful that they are so close in age. I pray that they have a very close relationship when they are all older. What a blessing!
Finally, Allen and I dragged ourselves out of bed (with a lot of help from Lyla screaming in her crib and Noah telling us "I gotta go pee, Mama!") We had stayed up late watching the Hurt Locker so we were exhausted. So we had breakfast and got things cleaned up. I feel like a short order cook most days for breakfast. It is the only meal in which I give my kids options. So I got them all fed and cleaned and moved on to get in the shower myself. It was a task for Allen and I to get ready this morning. Lyla was not having it. She was still so sleepy and cranky. So before 9am, I laid her back down for a nap. This was the perfect rescue for the morning. We both got ready to go and she got in a great nap! YES!!! Love it!
Allen's dad was on his way to pick up Allen and the two older boys around 10:45ish. The took the boys to Opry Mills' IMAX theater to see Avatar. What a treat! Grandpa Michael came in and made their day. Jaxon and Asher have begged us to go see Avatar, but we knew there was no way we could afford to go to the movies. Not an option for us at the moment. But a few days ago, Dad called and said he and Paula wanted to take us as a family. (lol I giggled and knew that wasnt gonna happen. No way could the younger 2 make it through a 3 hour, 3-D movie). I love my father-in-law so much, he and Paula are so wonderful to us! It was such a treat for the boys and something we knew we couldn't give them. He had no idea they wanted to see it. It was such a wonderful treat for them! I was so excited for them. Well, it ended up that Paula had her granddaughter this weekend and couldn't go, so it was just the guys.
They had a blast. I think Allen and Dad were more excited than the boys were. When they got home Dad gave me a "play-by-play" of the movie and his eyes just were full of amazement. I was so happy that they could spend this time together. Hopefully next time, Noah can go too. These Green men need to stick together. LOL
Well while they were at the movies, I took the younger kids to church. It was so much fun to have just the little ones. It took me back to earlier years with Jaxon and Asher. Wow! Things are so much harder without my older boys. Noah got bored very easily and Lyla was looking everywhere for her brothers. We spent most of the time in the nursery, but I was able to stay out in church for song service. It was so touching and full of peace! Uncle (Allen's Uncle Chris, not to get confused with his brother Chris or cousin Chris. LOL ) sang my favorite song. His voice is such a blessing to my heart! What a gift he has!
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Chorus
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.
That is my favorite verse. I just adore it when Uncle sings that song. It is so gentle and calm and just so full of peace for me. I <3 it!!
So after church, we ran through McDonald's and came home to eat. (I sold some things on Craigslist and had some cash, so I was happy to give Noah a treat.) I hate to eat there or give it to my kids, but they love it and only get it every other month. So I didn't feel too bad about it today. I quickly put Lyla down for a nap after she finished eating and Noah and I crawled up on the couch for some movie/snuggle time. It was so precious to just hold him. Although, he didn't let me for very long. He is so independent about things like that. So I just sat next to him and we watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the old school cartoon from the 80's). Not my choice, but I let him pick out any movie he wanted because he never gets to pick with his brothers around. He was on cloud 9!!
Soon after the boys came home. We got dinner fixed (corn fritters and homemade chicken strips, Allen's favorite) and ate and then showers. Football is on, so Allen is still in "football world" and the kids are already in bed. No naps = relaxing night for mom and dad! Woo hoo!! It was a great day and I am thankful for my babies and Allen. What a blessing they are and I need to be more thankful EVERYDAY!!!
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Finally, Allen and I dragged ourselves out of bed (with a lot of help from Lyla screaming in her crib and Noah telling us "I gotta go pee, Mama!") We had stayed up late watching the Hurt Locker so we were exhausted. So we had breakfast and got things cleaned up. I feel like a short order cook most days for breakfast. It is the only meal in which I give my kids options. So I got them all fed and cleaned and moved on to get in the shower myself. It was a task for Allen and I to get ready this morning. Lyla was not having it. She was still so sleepy and cranky. So before 9am, I laid her back down for a nap. This was the perfect rescue for the morning. We both got ready to go and she got in a great nap! YES!!! Love it!
Allen's dad was on his way to pick up Allen and the two older boys around 10:45ish. The took the boys to Opry Mills' IMAX theater to see Avatar. What a treat! Grandpa Michael came in and made their day. Jaxon and Asher have begged us to go see Avatar, but we knew there was no way we could afford to go to the movies. Not an option for us at the moment. But a few days ago, Dad called and said he and Paula wanted to take us as a family. (lol I giggled and knew that wasnt gonna happen. No way could the younger 2 make it through a 3 hour, 3-D movie). I love my father-in-law so much, he and Paula are so wonderful to us! It was such a treat for the boys and something we knew we couldn't give them. He had no idea they wanted to see it. It was such a wonderful treat for them! I was so excited for them. Well, it ended up that Paula had her granddaughter this weekend and couldn't go, so it was just the guys.
They had a blast. I think Allen and Dad were more excited than the boys were. When they got home Dad gave me a "play-by-play" of the movie and his eyes just were full of amazement. I was so happy that they could spend this time together. Hopefully next time, Noah can go too. These Green men need to stick together. LOL
Well while they were at the movies, I took the younger kids to church. It was so much fun to have just the little ones. It took me back to earlier years with Jaxon and Asher. Wow! Things are so much harder without my older boys. Noah got bored very easily and Lyla was looking everywhere for her brothers. We spent most of the time in the nursery, but I was able to stay out in church for song service. It was so touching and full of peace! Uncle (Allen's Uncle Chris, not to get confused with his brother Chris or cousin Chris. LOL ) sang my favorite song. His voice is such a blessing to my heart! What a gift he has!
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Chorus
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.
That is my favorite verse. I just adore it when Uncle sings that song. It is so gentle and calm and just so full of peace for me. I <3 it!!
So after church, we ran through McDonald's and came home to eat. (I sold some things on Craigslist and had some cash, so I was happy to give Noah a treat.) I hate to eat there or give it to my kids, but they love it and only get it every other month. So I didn't feel too bad about it today. I quickly put Lyla down for a nap after she finished eating and Noah and I crawled up on the couch for some movie/snuggle time. It was so precious to just hold him. Although, he didn't let me for very long. He is so independent about things like that. So I just sat next to him and we watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the old school cartoon from the 80's). Not my choice, but I let him pick out any movie he wanted because he never gets to pick with his brothers around. He was on cloud 9!!
Soon after the boys came home. We got dinner fixed (corn fritters and homemade chicken strips, Allen's favorite) and ate and then showers. Football is on, so Allen is still in "football world" and the kids are already in bed. No naps = relaxing night for mom and dad! Woo hoo!! It was a great day and I am thankful for my babies and Allen. What a blessing they are and I need to be more thankful EVERYDAY!!!
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Saturday, January 23, 2010
Saturday Madness. . .
Going anywhere with 4 small kids is hard, but going anywhere near a mall or grocery store on a Saturday is just plain crazy! LOL We had such a fun-filled day. . . got up and ready, went and signed the boys up for Spring soccer. (Noah's 1st time to play! woo hoo!!), went to post office to mail Jeanna's b-day gift (a week late!), stopped by Grandma and Grandpa's for an hour or so (made a lunch date with them), shopped at Kroger, took the groceries home and gave Noah his medicine, drove to Hendersonville, ran into Play-It- Again Sports, quick trip into Walmart (shampoo and almond bark), met Grandma, Grandpa, and Joy & Lee for lunch at O'Charley's (had a great coupon and lunch specials, woo hoo!!), another quick trip to Target (yeah right. . .I never go quickly in Target! haha), Dick's Sporting Goods (Noah needed soccer stuff), JcPenny's (suicide mission! lol), Kmart (to check on a b-day gift for Noah ~didn't find it!), and finally Publix to finish our grocery shopping! WOW I'm exhausted just typing it all out! Insanity!!!!!!!!!
So it is 8:30ish and the kids are all in bed. Dishes are washing, laundry is drying, and Allen just left to get us a pizza from Little Ceasers! You can't beat a $5.00 pizza. I think we both earned it today. It was so much fun. We really have a fun-filled day tomorrow, so off to relax I go!
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So it is 8:30ish and the kids are all in bed. Dishes are washing, laundry is drying, and Allen just left to get us a pizza from Little Ceasers! You can't beat a $5.00 pizza. I think we both earned it today. It was so much fun. We really have a fun-filled day tomorrow, so off to relax I go!
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Friday, January 22, 2010
Another missing tooth. . .
Here's a lighter story than my last post. . . :)
Just about 30 minutes ago, Jaxon had the wonderful experience of pulling his own tooth. We had been trying to get him to wiggle it as much as he would for the last few days. I took a look at it tonight and realized that it was very loose. I told Allen that he had to pull it tonight or it might fall out in his sleep and he could swallow it. Jaxon didn't like the sound of that. So I fiddled with it a bit and tried to get it out, but I had no luck. I refuse to pull too hard because this is only tooth #2 and we have so many more to go (his and his siblings) so I didn;t want there to be any fear or anxiety over it.
So after a few bloody paper towels, I told Allen to give it a try. He, of course, was very hesitant and came up with an excuse. "I just put lotion on my hands," he said. LOL Pulling teeth is not his thing. He must get that from his mom. She told me that she would never touch her boys' teeth either. She hated the thought of it. So, I stepped up once again and got in there. (what a bunch of babies. . .it's just a tooth. I cleaned up vomit all day long today, so I think I can handle a little tooth. lol I'm totally teasing them!)
So long story short (yeah right), Jaxon got in there and twisted the little sucker right out. I wish I could have captured his reaction on tape. He was thrilled! He jumped up and down with excitement. He was just overjoyed with the fact that HE DID IT!!!!! I was so proud of him. He was smiling and laughing all with blood running down his mouth. It was gross and hilarious all at the same time. I am glad Allen was right here when it happened. It was one of those priceless moments that we will always remember. What a great ending to our day!!!
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Just about 30 minutes ago, Jaxon had the wonderful experience of pulling his own tooth. We had been trying to get him to wiggle it as much as he would for the last few days. I took a look at it tonight and realized that it was very loose. I told Allen that he had to pull it tonight or it might fall out in his sleep and he could swallow it. Jaxon didn't like the sound of that. So I fiddled with it a bit and tried to get it out, but I had no luck. I refuse to pull too hard because this is only tooth #2 and we have so many more to go (his and his siblings) so I didn;t want there to be any fear or anxiety over it.
So after a few bloody paper towels, I told Allen to give it a try. He, of course, was very hesitant and came up with an excuse. "I just put lotion on my hands," he said. LOL Pulling teeth is not his thing. He must get that from his mom. She told me that she would never touch her boys' teeth either. She hated the thought of it. So, I stepped up once again and got in there. (what a bunch of babies. . .it's just a tooth. I cleaned up vomit all day long today, so I think I can handle a little tooth. lol I'm totally teasing them!)
So long story short (yeah right), Jaxon got in there and twisted the little sucker right out. I wish I could have captured his reaction on tape. He was thrilled! He jumped up and down with excitement. He was just overjoyed with the fact that HE DID IT!!!!! I was so proud of him. He was smiling and laughing all with blood running down his mouth. It was gross and hilarious all at the same time. I am glad Allen was right here when it happened. It was one of those priceless moments that we will always remember. What a great ending to our day!!!
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Finding Purpose. . .
So lately, I have really been struggling with my worth and/or purpose. I have really found that being a stay-at-home mother is an incredible blessing and wonderful job. But, it does leave much to be desired in the personal growth category. I think yesterday just really broke me. With all the planning for our reunion, it made me examine what I have done in the last 10 years. I got pretty upset and discouraged with myself. Many have told me that I "have accomplished so much". . ."You have 4 beautiful children". . ."being a mother is the hardest thing to do". . .etc. But what does that really mean? If you are a mother with 4 small kids, it means you have no outside interests, no life, no time for friends, not much of anything that defines you as a person. I have let go of Jannelle and become just "their mama."
I have tried for years to find a balance. I can't go out and get a job. How would I pay for childcare for 3 kids during the day? I would hate to miss out on being with them and why would I want to have someone else raise them when I have a financial situation that allows me to stay home. So realistically it doesn't make sense. I get pretty angry at times because I have no break or refuge. I don't have "mom" living down the street or in the same house (like some I know) to give me a day away. I don't have the extra money to pay someone to keep all 4 of them so I can have a date night with my husband. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays all come and go without any special acknowledgement. It's frustrating and difficult. If I remember right the last time we got away by ourselves was July 09 (for less than 24 hours) and before that was when Noah was an infant. So, I struggle to keep my mind and heart open. I want to cherish these years, but find myself wanting them to pass quickly. Allen tells me that I am being selfish and makes me feel as if I am so horrible for needing/wanting time to myself. Sure that makes sense, coming from a man, who gets to leave anytime he needs to. He has the sense of stability and security to know that I will take care of it all. And I know, that is the way God intended it to be, but there must be balance. Right??
I get lost in my head a lot of the time. I get overwhelmed and shut down. God has really opened my eyes to my methods of madness over the last year. I get scared and just want to run away. He has really put me in a situation that I can't run from and must stand up and face it. Maybe that is the point of this past year? Maybe that is what I needed to understand all along? Maybe HE just wanted me to get it?! Wow, I love the way blogging makes you really stop and think! Intense! Oh how I wish I had the quiet time to continue and really dig deep. Maybe someday. Until then, I'm off to change a stinky diaper. . .again.
**On a kid friendly note, Lyla decided that she needed an apple today. Noah had left the refrigerator door open, so she went in and helped herself. I always cut the apples for them and take off the peel. I get worried that they will choke, so I have never let her have one with peel. It was hilarious to say the least! She is such a doll. Asher saw her doing this and just about freaked. He is my little mother hen and gets so protective of his siblings. It's so sweet of him.
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I have tried for years to find a balance. I can't go out and get a job. How would I pay for childcare for 3 kids during the day? I would hate to miss out on being with them and why would I want to have someone else raise them when I have a financial situation that allows me to stay home. So realistically it doesn't make sense. I get pretty angry at times because I have no break or refuge. I don't have "mom" living down the street or in the same house (like some I know) to give me a day away. I don't have the extra money to pay someone to keep all 4 of them so I can have a date night with my husband. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays all come and go without any special acknowledgement. It's frustrating and difficult. If I remember right the last time we got away by ourselves was July 09 (for less than 24 hours) and before that was when Noah was an infant. So, I struggle to keep my mind and heart open. I want to cherish these years, but find myself wanting them to pass quickly. Allen tells me that I am being selfish and makes me feel as if I am so horrible for needing/wanting time to myself. Sure that makes sense, coming from a man, who gets to leave anytime he needs to. He has the sense of stability and security to know that I will take care of it all. And I know, that is the way God intended it to be, but there must be balance. Right??
I get lost in my head a lot of the time. I get overwhelmed and shut down. God has really opened my eyes to my methods of madness over the last year. I get scared and just want to run away. He has really put me in a situation that I can't run from and must stand up and face it. Maybe that is the point of this past year? Maybe that is what I needed to understand all along? Maybe HE just wanted me to get it?! Wow, I love the way blogging makes you really stop and think! Intense! Oh how I wish I had the quiet time to continue and really dig deep. Maybe someday. Until then, I'm off to change a stinky diaper. . .again.
**On a kid friendly note, Lyla decided that she needed an apple today. Noah had left the refrigerator door open, so she went in and helped herself. I always cut the apples for them and take off the peel. I get worried that they will choke, so I have never let her have one with peel. It was hilarious to say the least! She is such a doll. Asher saw her doing this and just about freaked. He is my little mother hen and gets so protective of his siblings. It's so sweet of him.
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Thursday, January 21, 2010
Digging into my past. . .
Well today has been a day of remembering. I am a very emotional person and anyone who knows me, knows that I love taking pictures to capture all those memories. I want to keep things updated so my kids will always have what I don't. I want them to have baby books filled out and keepsake boxes and things of that nature. I feel it is so important to keep track of your family's history and past.
With that being said, this morning, I got such an incredible email from my sweet cousin. I am learning so much about my family and pieces are really starting to fit together. I look forward to hearing more and more from her. It is such a blessing and answered prayer of mine. I have longed for someone to tell me something/anything for so long. God really is delivering!!
Allen and I both got info about our 10 year class reunions today. Man, I just cried when classmates and I started looking at dates. Can it be 10 years already?? When did I become an adult? Goodness, I just can't believe it. I was reminded today about the quiz I took last week on Dr. Oz's website. It said I was 36.8 years old. LOL That just about sums up my life. Yep, that is super sad! I think this year has really aged me and Allen both. I'm so ready to be young again. . .after all, when did 27 become so old?! lol
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With that being said, this morning, I got such an incredible email from my sweet cousin. I am learning so much about my family and pieces are really starting to fit together. I look forward to hearing more and more from her. It is such a blessing and answered prayer of mine. I have longed for someone to tell me something/anything for so long. God really is delivering!!
Allen and I both got info about our 10 year class reunions today. Man, I just cried when classmates and I started looking at dates. Can it be 10 years already?? When did I become an adult? Goodness, I just can't believe it. I was reminded today about the quiz I took last week on Dr. Oz's website. It said I was 36.8 years old. LOL That just about sums up my life. Yep, that is super sad! I think this year has really aged me and Allen both. I'm so ready to be young again. . .after all, when did 27 become so old?! lol
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The sweetest moments. . .
It's been a pretty calm day here. I have finally gotten caught up on all my cleaning and laundry. Noah is still struggling to leave his stitches alone. It is so frustrating to try to keep them covered and now he is having a reaction to the band-aids I have used. I forgot to give him his antibiotic before we left to get Jaxon so he had to take it an hour late. Three times a day is just too much to remember. I will be happy when all of this is behind us.
Lyla was hilarious today. She would just follow me around and kept saying, "huh Mom?" She just made me giggle. I love having a daughter. Don't know if I have said that a zillion times yet, but I think I might be getting close to it. She is such a sweet little girl. I was sitting in the car-rider line to pick up Jaxon today and she was just looking out her window and sitting so peacefully. Oh to have that kind of calmness and peace. It is only that of a child. I tried so hard to find my camera fast enough, but she noticed me and looked at me and smiled. That sure made my day. Simple, sweet moments are just about all I have these days. Such craziness comes with having 4 small ones. Not a moment to myself all day and most nights. I cherish it, but also struggle with keeping my sanity. lol It's definitely a "one of a kind" job.
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Lyla was hilarious today. She would just follow me around and kept saying, "huh Mom?" She just made me giggle. I love having a daughter. Don't know if I have said that a zillion times yet, but I think I might be getting close to it. She is such a sweet little girl. I was sitting in the car-rider line to pick up Jaxon today and she was just looking out her window and sitting so peacefully. Oh to have that kind of calmness and peace. It is only that of a child. I tried so hard to find my camera fast enough, but she noticed me and looked at me and smiled. That sure made my day. Simple, sweet moments are just about all I have these days. Such craziness comes with having 4 small ones. Not a moment to myself all day and most nights. I cherish it, but also struggle with keeping my sanity. lol It's definitely a "one of a kind" job.
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Monday, January 18, 2010
My beautiful Noah!
I tried to write this post last night, but I just couldn't pull my thoughts together. I was on such a great excitement high that I just couldn't get my words to make any sense, so we will try this today.
Yesterday was MLK Jr. Day, so Allen and Jaxon were both home. It was looking like it was going to be a very long day, when Allen decided we should go see what Grandma and Grandpa were up to. So we got everything together and piled over to their house. I think it was the first time we had been there since before Christmas.It has been so cold that I haven't tried to take the kids anywhere by myself. So we have missed going over there. While we were there, Grandma and I were talking about the waiting. She asked me if I had called to see if the test results were in yet and I said no. She told me that she thought it would be ok if I called and checked it out. Well if you know me at all, you know that I hate to make phone calls. I have such a problem making them and get so much anxiety over talking on a phone. (so stupid, I know!) So I made Allen call. LOL
So he goes outside and calls and he got the nurse's voicemail. He leaves a message and then comes back inside. He was noticeably mad, so I asked him what happened. He said that he left this message, "Hi this is Allen Green, Noah Green's son. . . " He was so embarrassed. I just laughed! He hates it when I make him do something he doesn't want to do. But Grandma and I together made him call. So after we all had a much needed laugh, we all got bundled up and headed out to Hendersonville for our usual Chick-fil-A lunch. We had a great time and really enjoyed spending time with them. The kids got to play for a bit and we had some nice conversation with Grandpa and Grandma. I love and cherish them and every time we get to just "chat." It's so wonderful.
Then we picked up Noah's antibiotic at Kroger and came on home. I really didn't want to just go home and wait, so Allen called Nana and Uncle to come over and hangout/play Rock Band with us. We got home and got the kids changed and settled and I was getting the food ready when Allen's phone rang. I knew it was the doctor. I could just feel it. I asked him and he said yes and took it in the bedroom. I stood at the sink just starring at the dishes. I just kept telling God, "Take it and do what you will with it. Good or bad, I'll still keep my trust in YOU!" I just repeated it over and over for what seemed to be hours, but was only about 5 minutes. Allen came out and I could see it on his face. Everything was ok! Our Noah would be fine. He came over and hugged me and said, "He's ok, baby! He's ok!!" I just took a deep breathe and felt such a relief. They gave him instructions on how to treat the infection his stitches were getting and said they would see us next week.
About 10 minutes later, Nana and Uncle came to the door. I bet I probably scared them to death. I opened the door and told them Noah was fine. I think they probably thought I was insane. lol I was just so relieved and excited. They were happy and hugged Noah. It was so great to have them here to share the news with. The night went on and we had such a fun time. We had such a blast watching Uncle play the guitar and drums. Anyone who knows our Uncle, knows that it is so hard to get him to play games or anything, so we were honored that he joined in. The kids loved having them here and Lyla really loved Nana. She just watched Uncle from a distance. IT was hilarious. She kept starring at him, like she does Allen's brother, Troy. Just a deep trance of sorts. Too precious. I love moments like that. I got a few pictures, but not many. I was bummed about that!
I am a very thankful mother today! God has given me such peace in my heart. HE protected my sweet baby boy and given us a tremendous sense of life. This experience has forever changed me and my thinking. I am grateful and blessed!
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Yesterday was MLK Jr. Day, so Allen and Jaxon were both home. It was looking like it was going to be a very long day, when Allen decided we should go see what Grandma and Grandpa were up to. So we got everything together and piled over to their house. I think it was the first time we had been there since before Christmas.It has been so cold that I haven't tried to take the kids anywhere by myself. So we have missed going over there. While we were there, Grandma and I were talking about the waiting. She asked me if I had called to see if the test results were in yet and I said no. She told me that she thought it would be ok if I called and checked it out. Well if you know me at all, you know that I hate to make phone calls. I have such a problem making them and get so much anxiety over talking on a phone. (so stupid, I know!) So I made Allen call. LOL
So he goes outside and calls and he got the nurse's voicemail. He leaves a message and then comes back inside. He was noticeably mad, so I asked him what happened. He said that he left this message, "Hi this is Allen Green, Noah Green's son. . . " He was so embarrassed. I just laughed! He hates it when I make him do something he doesn't want to do. But Grandma and I together made him call. So after we all had a much needed laugh, we all got bundled up and headed out to Hendersonville for our usual Chick-fil-A lunch. We had a great time and really enjoyed spending time with them. The kids got to play for a bit and we had some nice conversation with Grandpa and Grandma. I love and cherish them and every time we get to just "chat." It's so wonderful.
Then we picked up Noah's antibiotic at Kroger and came on home. I really didn't want to just go home and wait, so Allen called Nana and Uncle to come over and hangout/play Rock Band with us. We got home and got the kids changed and settled and I was getting the food ready when Allen's phone rang. I knew it was the doctor. I could just feel it. I asked him and he said yes and took it in the bedroom. I stood at the sink just starring at the dishes. I just kept telling God, "Take it and do what you will with it. Good or bad, I'll still keep my trust in YOU!" I just repeated it over and over for what seemed to be hours, but was only about 5 minutes. Allen came out and I could see it on his face. Everything was ok! Our Noah would be fine. He came over and hugged me and said, "He's ok, baby! He's ok!!" I just took a deep breathe and felt such a relief. They gave him instructions on how to treat the infection his stitches were getting and said they would see us next week.
About 10 minutes later, Nana and Uncle came to the door. I bet I probably scared them to death. I opened the door and told them Noah was fine. I think they probably thought I was insane. lol I was just so relieved and excited. They were happy and hugged Noah. It was so great to have them here to share the news with. The night went on and we had such a fun time. We had such a blast watching Uncle play the guitar and drums. Anyone who knows our Uncle, knows that it is so hard to get him to play games or anything, so we were honored that he joined in. The kids loved having them here and Lyla really loved Nana. She just watched Uncle from a distance. IT was hilarious. She kept starring at him, like she does Allen's brother, Troy. Just a deep trance of sorts. Too precious. I love moments like that. I got a few pictures, but not many. I was bummed about that!
I am a very thankful mother today! God has given me such peace in my heart. HE protected my sweet baby boy and given us a tremendous sense of life. This experience has forever changed me and my thinking. I am grateful and blessed!
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Sunday, January 17, 2010
Crazy Weekend. . .
Well this weekend has been strange. Allen had to work all day yesterday and had planned on getting off and being home by 5:00. I let the kids play outside most of yesterday while Lyla and I stayed in the kitchen to make cookies and goodies. We had a blast. She looks too precious in her little apron. We had invited Chris, Amber, & Jillian over for some pizza and Guitar Hero/Rock Band and planned on having a low-key evening. Well Allen ended up not getting off work until 5 and not home until 6ish. It was insane. Evelyn had called me that afternoon and asked if they could stop by last night. So it was a pleasant surprise to have almost everyone here, but also a total pit of disaster. The kids didn't get a good nap and were so hyper and over the top with the idea of having so many people here.
It was nice to have something else to keep my mind off of the waiting...which by the way is consuming me completely today. I feel like I need to throw up and am eating uncontrollably. It was hilarious to watch everyone play Rock Band and even my mother-in-law got some signing in. I feel like my head just spins around in circles when we have large group get togethers. The kids are all so loud and over-the-top. They have so much fun though. I am happy they have these memories. Noah was the star of the show with his "boo boo." He loved showing everyone. He was excited to have a band-aid from Grandma put on. He thought he was hot stuff.
Today has been very lazy and honestly, it is killing me. I keep envisioning getting the phone call. I feel on the verge of tears at every turn. It is such a burden of mine right now. I had a horrible dream last night about it and woke up this morning in tears. I try to carry on a conversation and all I think about is Noah. I can't even play with the kids sometimes. It's like I'm numb to it all. It's such a sad place to be. So I am hoping that they call tomorrow. It would be great to get the news when Allen is home. Good or bad, I don't want to get it by myself. But we'll have to wait and see.
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It was nice to have something else to keep my mind off of the waiting...which by the way is consuming me completely today. I feel like I need to throw up and am eating uncontrollably. It was hilarious to watch everyone play Rock Band and even my mother-in-law got some signing in. I feel like my head just spins around in circles when we have large group get togethers. The kids are all so loud and over-the-top. They have so much fun though. I am happy they have these memories. Noah was the star of the show with his "boo boo." He loved showing everyone. He was excited to have a band-aid from Grandma put on. He thought he was hot stuff.
Today has been very lazy and honestly, it is killing me. I keep envisioning getting the phone call. I feel on the verge of tears at every turn. It is such a burden of mine right now. I had a horrible dream last night about it and woke up this morning in tears. I try to carry on a conversation and all I think about is Noah. I can't even play with the kids sometimes. It's like I'm numb to it all. It's such a sad place to be. So I am hoping that they call tomorrow. It would be great to get the news when Allen is home. Good or bad, I don't want to get it by myself. But we'll have to wait and see.
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Friday, January 15, 2010
Happy Birthday. . .
To the most wonderful sister I could have ever asked for, Happy 25th Birthday! I can't believe my little sister, Jeanna is 25 today. I am completely bummed that I can't be there to hug her and celebrate with her. But I am thankful that we have grown into best friends. Growing up Jeanna and I had several issues. To be honest, we couldn't stand each other. She was the baby of the family for many years and there wasn't a day that she wouldn't tell you about it. lol She was such a brat!! She drove me insane.
Our mother always loved having someone to cling to and for the first 5 years of Jeanna's life, she was that person. I remember how she would tattle on me for EVERYTHING !! It didn't even have to be anything specific, just anything I did, she had to tell on me. I remember her and I fighting so badly at times that she would chase me through the house with a knife. lol We were such brats. I knew how to provoke her and get under her skin. It was just a thing we both thought we had to do. . . to hate each other that is. Then my senior year of high school came and she was a freshman. That was such a great year. I loved having someone follow me around and being able to help her was an awesome feeling. We were both on the cheerleading squads and at one point we were both on the varsity team, (I think?) It was a great year for us and we really got close after that. She was my best friend. . .my only friend actually. She then moved up north to Aurora, IL and we drifted apart a bit for a few years. I was so troubled with the things happening at home and a bit angry that she had left me to deal with it all alone. I understand now that she HAD to leave. A few short years later, I did the same.
It took a few years to get back in touch with each other. When Jaxon was born in 2003, life really got going again. She was just in awe of him and loved to be around him. She is an amazing Aunt!! I don't think the kids talk to me as much as they do her. She is always there and knows every detail of their lives. I love it. Jaxon lost his 1st tooth 2 weeks ago and as soon as I pulled it he asked, "Can we call Aunt Nena?" I am so grateful that she has them and they have her. In my family, "love" doesn't come without a price or strings attached, but I think Jeanna and I are teaching each other that we can change the generational patterns and be happy without all the drama and sadness. If we stick together we will and can make it!! I love her!!
Our mother always loved having someone to cling to and for the first 5 years of Jeanna's life, she was that person. I remember how she would tattle on me for EVERYTHING !! It didn't even have to be anything specific, just anything I did, she had to tell on me. I remember her and I fighting so badly at times that she would chase me through the house with a knife. lol We were such brats. I knew how to provoke her and get under her skin. It was just a thing we both thought we had to do. . . to hate each other that is. Then my senior year of high school came and she was a freshman. That was such a great year. I loved having someone follow me around and being able to help her was an awesome feeling. We were both on the cheerleading squads and at one point we were both on the varsity team, (I think?) It was a great year for us and we really got close after that. She was my best friend. . .my only friend actually. She then moved up north to Aurora, IL and we drifted apart a bit for a few years. I was so troubled with the things happening at home and a bit angry that she had left me to deal with it all alone. I understand now that she HAD to leave. A few short years later, I did the same.
It took a few years to get back in touch with each other. When Jaxon was born in 2003, life really got going again. She was just in awe of him and loved to be around him. She is an amazing Aunt!! I don't think the kids talk to me as much as they do her. She is always there and knows every detail of their lives. I love it. Jaxon lost his 1st tooth 2 weeks ago and as soon as I pulled it he asked, "Can we call Aunt Nena?" I am so grateful that she has them and they have her. In my family, "love" doesn't come without a price or strings attached, but I think Jeanna and I are teaching each other that we can change the generational patterns and be happy without all the drama and sadness. If we stick together we will and can make it!! I love her!!
These were the only pictures I could find of us as kids. (I don't have many pictures from childhood.) I am just so happy and honored to call her my sister and my best friend![gallery link="file" order="DESC"]
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Insanity has set in...
I am just all over the place today. I can't seem to get a grip on anything. I usually look forward to Fridays, but with Allen working tomorrow, this is really just a Thursday for us. I was happy to drop Jaxon off at school this morning. He was so happy to go and excited to take his spelling test. For the 1st time ever he had trouble with a spelling word. He couldn't remember to put the extra "n" in the word planned. He was thrilled last night when he got it! So he slammed the car door and smiled his big smile and waved. Usually he doesn't even look back at me blowing kisses, but today he blew one right back! It was just a great perk this morning. I am thankful that I get to be here for each of those little morning moments.
I sometimes get down about not bringing in any kind of income and not having a career like everyone else or having the money to buy whatever I need/want, but honestly they don't know what they are missing. I cherish getting to be here for EVERY moment! I have watched all my babies take their first steps, eat their first bites of food, I'm here for those late sick nights, being able to help with homework, etc. It's amazing. I pray that they remember these moments because I will never forget them. I think back on my childhood and honestly I can't remember one good time or anything my parents did to help me with something. Now, I'm sure they did when I was younger, they had to have right?! But nothing that was substantial enough to remember, I suppose.
Jaxon and I were looking through some photo albums yesterday and I found the book of Noah's birth. I just laughed so hard. He was just a perfect baby. Jaxon and Asher were so tiny and I really don't know how I survived having 3 babies all under the age of 4. What kind of insanity was going through my brain at the time?! Wow! Those were some tough times. Funny though, I still remember all the fun times, those moments that will forever be embedded in my heart. I remember Jaxon and Asher meeting Noah for the 1st time. They just starred at him with such big eyes. It was like they had always known him. The bond those boys have is just overwhelming to me. It makes all those long insane days by myself with them worth it. I survived those years without babysitters, help from a mother, preschools, or anything else. I did it!! Wow it's amazing even to me to look back at those pictures. By the grace of God! seriously!!
Noah seems to be doing ok today. His arm is pretty bruised, but he thinks it is awesome! He is so happy with his "boo boo." I will never fully understand the mind of a boy. LOL They are just too intense for me. lol I on the other hand am still going out of my mind. I think I check my phone more now than I did when I used to wait for Allen to call me, when we were dating. LoL I loved waiting on those phone calls, and honestly, I'm excited to get this call too. I told Grandma last night that I really didn't care what they had to say, I just wanted answers. Good or bad, I'm ready. . . I think. I just hate the waiting!! I can't stand it. Everyone else thinks that it will be fine and it's nothing, but it's not their baby boy. He's my baby and regardless I can't help but be very concerned. It is a huge deal to me. And for the 1st time ever, I hope they are all right. I hope it isn't anything to be concerned about. I'm praying it is nothing and I am just worrying for nothing!! That's my prayer!!
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I sometimes get down about not bringing in any kind of income and not having a career like everyone else or having the money to buy whatever I need/want, but honestly they don't know what they are missing. I cherish getting to be here for EVERY moment! I have watched all my babies take their first steps, eat their first bites of food, I'm here for those late sick nights, being able to help with homework, etc. It's amazing. I pray that they remember these moments because I will never forget them. I think back on my childhood and honestly I can't remember one good time or anything my parents did to help me with something. Now, I'm sure they did when I was younger, they had to have right?! But nothing that was substantial enough to remember, I suppose.
Jaxon and I were looking through some photo albums yesterday and I found the book of Noah's birth. I just laughed so hard. He was just a perfect baby. Jaxon and Asher were so tiny and I really don't know how I survived having 3 babies all under the age of 4. What kind of insanity was going through my brain at the time?! Wow! Those were some tough times. Funny though, I still remember all the fun times, those moments that will forever be embedded in my heart. I remember Jaxon and Asher meeting Noah for the 1st time. They just starred at him with such big eyes. It was like they had always known him. The bond those boys have is just overwhelming to me. It makes all those long insane days by myself with them worth it. I survived those years without babysitters, help from a mother, preschools, or anything else. I did it!! Wow it's amazing even to me to look back at those pictures. By the grace of God! seriously!!
Noah seems to be doing ok today. His arm is pretty bruised, but he thinks it is awesome! He is so happy with his "boo boo." I will never fully understand the mind of a boy. LOL They are just too intense for me. lol I on the other hand am still going out of my mind. I think I check my phone more now than I did when I used to wait for Allen to call me, when we were dating. LoL I loved waiting on those phone calls, and honestly, I'm excited to get this call too. I told Grandma last night that I really didn't care what they had to say, I just wanted answers. Good or bad, I'm ready. . . I think. I just hate the waiting!! I can't stand it. Everyone else thinks that it will be fine and it's nothing, but it's not their baby boy. He's my baby and regardless I can't help but be very concerned. It is a huge deal to me. And for the 1st time ever, I hope they are all right. I hope it isn't anything to be concerned about. I'm praying it is nothing and I am just worrying for nothing!! That's my prayer!!
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Noah
Yesterday we had Noah's doctor appointment. We went to see Dr. Pardue again about the growth on his arm. I tried to write about it yesterday, but it was just too much to think about. I am usually the one who takes the kids to all the doctor appointments, so I wasn't really nervous. . . until we walked into the room. I am not sure what it was, but I immediately felt like I was going to cry and vomit. I knew they would be doing the biopsy today and I had prayed and prepared my mind for it. So I was shocked that I was so emotional about walking in the door.
Once inside the room, we all sat down and the boys got out their Gameboys. Lyla was "talking" with the nurse (who I must say she was a gift from God!!) and Allen and I were settling into our seats and getting the kids comfortable. We assumed it would be another long visit, so I came prepared with tons of snacks and games. Noah got his Gameboy from the bag and ran and tried to jump up on the big table. He put his games down and right away pulled up his sleeve for the nurse to check. Funny, because she wasn't even ready to look at it. She was just asking us some questions and getting the equipment ready. Allen and I just giggled and were happy that he was so anxious. If only he knew what was coming, I don't think he would have been so kind to show his arm. She looked at it and then asked for the medicine he had used for the last month. She then said her and Dr. Pardue would be back in just a second. Crazy enough, they both walked in the door less than a minute later. . . that never happens at a doctor's office. I was impressed.
Well, he looked at it and quietly said that we must move on to the biopsy. My heart sank. I tried so hard not to cry and Allen could see that I was getting emotional, so he asked if I wanted him to stay with Noah during the whole thing. Strangely, I answer with a very swift, "YES!" So after about 20 minutes of the gel on his arm, which was suppose to numb it so they could give him a numbing shot, Asher, Lyla and I moved a few doors down the hall so the could get him ready for the doctor. That was the longest 10 minutes ever!!
I could hear Noah crying and screaming. I was pacing the room and praying that Allen was being comforting. (Mama's are just so much better at that than Dads. lol) Asher was playing Spiderman and was in another world. I am grateful that he didn't notice anything was happening. He is my little "mother hen" and gets so upset when his siblings are hurting. So he was content and oblivious to all things, except Spiderman. I was hold Lyla and making some small chit chat with another nurse. She was trying to be helpful, but I could careless what she was saying. I had other things to be listening for.
But, soon I couldn't take it and I walked back into Noah's room. They were almost done and he was picking out which Cars sticker he wanted. He was so excited about the stickers I think his arm was the last of his worries now. Praise God for small blessings! A few minutes later, Dr. Pardue came back in and got the tissue sample and was stitching him up before I even knew they had started. It was awesome! After he was bandaged up and sitting calmly, Dr. Pardue came over and hugged me and said he would have results with the next 5-7 days. If we haven't heard from him by next Wednesday (the 20th) then we are to call them for the results.
Really, what is a person to do for a whole week?? A week??? Goodness, that is insane. lol I wanna know NOW. I suppose this is another way for the Lord to teach me patience. So for now we just sit back and wait to hear what they have found. I think I am more excited to have answers than worried about the actual answers. We just need to find out what is happening with our little Noah.
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Once inside the room, we all sat down and the boys got out their Gameboys. Lyla was "talking" with the nurse (who I must say she was a gift from God!!) and Allen and I were settling into our seats and getting the kids comfortable. We assumed it would be another long visit, so I came prepared with tons of snacks and games. Noah got his Gameboy from the bag and ran and tried to jump up on the big table. He put his games down and right away pulled up his sleeve for the nurse to check. Funny, because she wasn't even ready to look at it. She was just asking us some questions and getting the equipment ready. Allen and I just giggled and were happy that he was so anxious. If only he knew what was coming, I don't think he would have been so kind to show his arm. She looked at it and then asked for the medicine he had used for the last month. She then said her and Dr. Pardue would be back in just a second. Crazy enough, they both walked in the door less than a minute later. . . that never happens at a doctor's office. I was impressed.
Well, he looked at it and quietly said that we must move on to the biopsy. My heart sank. I tried so hard not to cry and Allen could see that I was getting emotional, so he asked if I wanted him to stay with Noah during the whole thing. Strangely, I answer with a very swift, "YES!" So after about 20 minutes of the gel on his arm, which was suppose to numb it so they could give him a numbing shot, Asher, Lyla and I moved a few doors down the hall so the could get him ready for the doctor. That was the longest 10 minutes ever!!
I could hear Noah crying and screaming. I was pacing the room and praying that Allen was being comforting. (Mama's are just so much better at that than Dads. lol) Asher was playing Spiderman and was in another world. I am grateful that he didn't notice anything was happening. He is my little "mother hen" and gets so upset when his siblings are hurting. So he was content and oblivious to all things, except Spiderman. I was hold Lyla and making some small chit chat with another nurse. She was trying to be helpful, but I could careless what she was saying. I had other things to be listening for.
But, soon I couldn't take it and I walked back into Noah's room. They were almost done and he was picking out which Cars sticker he wanted. He was so excited about the stickers I think his arm was the last of his worries now. Praise God for small blessings! A few minutes later, Dr. Pardue came back in and got the tissue sample and was stitching him up before I even knew they had started. It was awesome! After he was bandaged up and sitting calmly, Dr. Pardue came over and hugged me and said he would have results with the next 5-7 days. If we haven't heard from him by next Wednesday (the 20th) then we are to call them for the results.
Really, what is a person to do for a whole week?? A week??? Goodness, that is insane. lol I wanna know NOW. I suppose this is another way for the Lord to teach me patience. So for now we just sit back and wait to hear what they have found. I think I am more excited to have answers than worried about the actual answers. We just need to find out what is happening with our little Noah.
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Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Finally some routine. . .
Well Jaxon started back to school today, after a long 20 day Christmas Break. We are all very excited and ready to get into our habit of routine. It seems that I function so much better when there is some consistency. I think we all do!
I woke up this morning and hit the ground running. It felt so good to wake up at 6:40 am and to have a purpose for the day. I think I lost my way a bit these past few weeks. It has been a tough time for me. It was very emotional and overwhelming, to say the least. I am feeling a little numb today. Just an overwhelming lack of thoughts. I am usually analyzing everything in my head all day long, but today I've got nothing. I am just trying to get through day with a fake smile.
Allen has a basketball game tonight and I think we are going to go get Mexican after the game. This is the 1st time we have eaten out in about 6 months. (well we have had Chick-fil-A a few times, but we always had "free" coupons.) Is it sad that I am really excited about it? lol It makes me jealous to see people just take it for granted that they can just not cook and go eat out anytime they want. Really, it makes me VERY jealous!! Sad, but honest! I think it is such a treat to not have to cook and clean everything after a meal. I think I look forward to it more than the others. It's quite a task cooking for 6 people everyday, three meals a day. So a break for me is such a great treat! I can't wait to tell the kids, they will be so pumped! Hopefully things work out, usually something happens and it doesn't work in our favor, so we will see. . .
I woke up this morning and hit the ground running. It felt so good to wake up at 6:40 am and to have a purpose for the day. I think I lost my way a bit these past few weeks. It has been a tough time for me. It was very emotional and overwhelming, to say the least. I am feeling a little numb today. Just an overwhelming lack of thoughts. I am usually analyzing everything in my head all day long, but today I've got nothing. I am just trying to get through day with a fake smile.
Allen has a basketball game tonight and I think we are going to go get Mexican after the game. This is the 1st time we have eaten out in about 6 months. (well we have had Chick-fil-A a few times, but we always had "free" coupons.) Is it sad that I am really excited about it? lol It makes me jealous to see people just take it for granted that they can just not cook and go eat out anytime they want. Really, it makes me VERY jealous!! Sad, but honest! I think it is such a treat to not have to cook and clean everything after a meal. I think I look forward to it more than the others. It's quite a task cooking for 6 people everyday, three meals a day. So a break for me is such a great treat! I can't wait to tell the kids, they will be so pumped! Hopefully things work out, usually something happens and it doesn't work in our favor, so we will see. . .
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