I am finally sitting down to write a bit. I do not think this time is going to be easy. Lyla is at my feet crying and the boys are all wrestling in the livingroom. I pray I have a bit of sanity left in this mind of mine after today. Although, I wouldn't make a bet on it. Can you believe we are having another snow day? Wow, this has been one crazy winter here in TN. We have never had this much snow in the 6 years that we have lived here. I am not complaining. I love snow days with all my kids home and everyone together. I am going to have such a hard time when the kids are all grown and out on their own. I struggle with Jaxon just being in school. I love having them all here and knowing what they are doing all day. I feel so out-of-the-loop with his school sometimes. I never know what is happening from day-to-day and it bothers me. Next year will be even harder with both boys in school. So, today I will enjoy the season we are in. I am thankful to have them home with me and that we are enjoying this lazy, winter day. These are the memories I want to cherish. I am so grateful to Allen for providing a way for me to stay home with my babies. I am in awe of mothers that work outside the home. What a strength they have.
I remember going back to work after I had Jaxon. He was 6 weeks old and I worked at Premiere Video. I loved working there, but remember I was a college student and that was the "coolest" place to work back then. I remember my first shift back and how I stood by the counter and just cried and cried. We lived in Evansville, IN and our apartment was literally just around the corner from the store. When I was at the end of my pregnancy, I would walk to work each day, trying to force myself into labor. (didn't work. lol) I loved the people there and the adventure of never knowing what was going to happen. We had a hilariously boss that made everything so drama and funny. The stories he told made our shifts just fly by. I laughed so hard everyday there. I worked up until about 12 hours before I went into labor. I just didn't want to sit at home by myself. (Allen worked about 60-70 hrs a week, so he was never home.)
I got off of my point there. I remember going back to work after Jaxon was born and I could only work nights. Allen would work from 6am-2pm at Wesslemans (the grocery store he managed) and I would go in from 3-10pm or 5pm-1am on weekends. The first day I went back I remember that they sent me home early because I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't accept the fact that Allen was taking good enough care of him. I needed to be there!! So, after a few more weeks of this, we decided that I needed to just be a mama at home. We were both college kids and were so broke, but we made it work somehow. It was great to be there for him all the time. Totally worth the sacrifices we had to make. I am grateful that Allen supported me through that time. It was a doozy!
I suppose I am feeling a little sentimental this morning. Only 2 days until my Noah turns 3 and I'm realizing how fast the times goes. There were days when I just knew I couldn't and wouldn't make it through, but God delivered me through the darkness and I am grateful to say I did it with Him. I have survived and enjoyed these young years with my children. I am excited and ready to enjoy so many more. What a blessing snow days are! They really make you stop everything and just enjoy what you have been blessed with. And well of course it gets my sentimental mind rolling. . . :)
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