So thankful. . .

Just a few minutes ago I stumbled across a blog of a friend of a friend (if that made any sense? lol). I do not know this family personally, but I just can't help but share. I knew that their child had a rare kind of cancer, but was not aware that things had taken the worst turn. Their little boy passed away about a month ago. I read several posts the mother had written over the last month. I just couldn't stop weeping. I'm still wiping my face and had to force myself to stop reading. I was about to make myself physically sick from crying. I cannot imagine what is going through her heart and head. Her pain and heartache was scattered all throughout her writing. Her life was in such displacement and you could feel her denial. I'm just overwhelmed.

I am so blessed to be a mother to 4 healthy babies. Every time I complain or whine about "this" or "that" I should just close my mouth. I was reading their blog and Noah was sitting next to me on the couch. Jaxon, Asher, and Lyla were already in bed and since Noah took a nap he got to stay up a bit later. I just sat back and watched him play with his Elmo. Tears just flowed down my face. His head was down and he was talking to Elmo as if he was his best friend. His hair is in desperate need of a cut so he has these hairs that hang down over his ears. It itches him sometimes and he kept scratching his ear. I just watched him. I thought about how this little boy was Noah's age and how much his Mama and Dad are missing. Each little thing that Noah does all day, what if I were to miss those things? I struggle to send them to the bathroom by himself now, how could I let him go completely?? This mother is in so much pain and it makes me just weep. I am counting my blessings tonight and squeezing my Noah a bit tighter. Can you really say, "I love you" enough??? I don't think so!  I just wanted to share my thoughts. Noah is sleepy and I'm going to let him sleep with me until Daddy is finished working. I think I am doing it more for me than I am him. I just want to cuddle with my babies while they will still let me. I am so thankful and have a full heart tonight!

This is not the post I wanted to do tonight, but it will do. I have so many things to catch up on, but I felt this was much more heart appropriate. I always want my children to know how thankful I am for them and how blessed they have made me. God has been so good to me and realizing this makes all that other baggage and stress just melt away. I want to feel this content all the time! I love it!!